Our Journey to Ethiopia... Day 5

Today would be our last day in Ethiopia. Feelings were a mixture of sheer joy and complete sadness. We were overjoyed to be going home - going home to see Lowa and Whitt, going home to sleep in our own bed, going to the comforts of home, and most importantly to be united as a family for the first time. Our sadness came from the fact that this would be the last time for the three of us in Ethiopia for a very long time. This was where our son was born, where he looked like everyone else, where his Hannah's Hope family was. It was heartbreaking to think that we would have to leave this amazing, beautiful and humble country.

Our shopping day had been a few days prior and many of us started whisperings that we wished we'd been able to shop longer. There was so much we wanted to take home with us for our families and children. We asked Almaz if we could go again and she said yes! We all met down in the hotel lobby and walked over to Hannah's Hope for the last time. While walking over, Tom and I were a bit behind. As we walked, two older women came up to us smiling. Their eyes were transfixed on Abraham. I lifted him up to them and said, "Abraham (Obrahom)." They lit up, held his hands and kissed his cheeks (all of these things are very common for women to do to babies in Ethiopia). I could tell that they loved him, yet they had never met him. What was it about these beautiful people that brought them to such joy over children? What was it that was in them to caused them to come over and find sheer delight in the smile of a child. The phrase, "it takes a village to raise a child" is the true motto of Ethiopia. It is nothing like here in the United States. I would never think to show my children to older women walking down the road, much less letting them touch and kiss him. Yet, this is their culture and it saddened me that my own culture had lost that sense of "it takes a village to raise a child." These interactions were so uplifting yet at the same time, made me ponder what is it about my own culture that I would like to see change?

When we arrived at Hannah's Hope, Almaz let us know that we would be shopping and then going to Enat Elam and Mother Teresa's house. She said that it would not be a good idea to take the children because measles were going through Enat Elam and Mother Teresa home was not a place for children. Tom and I had talked about it the night before and had decided that he would like to stay back with Abraham and that I would go to Enat Elam. He was sad that he would not be able to visit the orphanage where Abraham had spent a month of his life. We also talked about the Mother Teresa home. Tom was not comfortable with me visiting. He very much feared Tuberculosis and did not want any chance of me getting it (even though people visit all the time). I respected his wishes and would stay out in the van while everyone else went inside. I had mixed feelings about this, but after discussions, this was a joint decision that we felt was best for our family.

We took one van and headed out. Because we had to crunch in, I got the privilege of riding in the front seat. Almaz was funny because she kept asking me if I was comfortable with this (because the driving is so crazy, I think she thought I might be scared). I was super excited to ride in the front and see the real action! This also meant that while Danny was driving, Yohannes had to squeeze in the middle, while I sat in the passenger seat. It was REALLY fun seeing the honking, swerving, and maneuvering first hand. It also gave me a great opportunity to talk with Yohannes and Danny. They would tell me about some of the things we were driving by and I would also ask questions. They understood much more English than they spoke, so our conversations were rich and at the same time fragmented. I found out that the Prime Minister lives in an enormous estate that looks as though it is straight out of an African fairy tale with tropical trees, gold artwork and walkways that are endless. Of course, no pictures were allowed. I also found out that Danny and Yohannes are fans of this Prime Minister, but not the previous one. This led to a discussion about Hillary Clinton and Barrack Obama. We talked about who they liked and who I liked - I'll let you guess who I liked.... Then Yohannes pulled out his cell phone and showed me a picture that had been emailed to him. It was a picture of George Bush and Saddam Hussein in soccer outfits. George Bush was in a pose that suggested he was saying, "You're outta here" to S.H. Yohannes was cracking up at this. I got the humor and could do nothing else other than chuckle along with him. It was so interesting to get a feel for how others view our country. Soon we pulled up to our first shopping destination. It was a tiny shop along the side of the road that specialized in all things wooden. I was able to purchase some amazing wooden bowls.

Danny, Yohannes, and Abraham. These men were amazing!


Yohannes and Abraham - I think Abraham will look like Yohannes when he grows up.

We all loaded up again and headed for our next destination... Enat Elam - translated No Mother (the state run orphanage). As we drove I had feelings of apprehension, excitement, and sadness. I would be visiting the orphanage where my son was taken after he was found, and where he spent a month of his life. I knew what I saw would be forever etched in my heart and mind. We pulled up to a gate, gave a honk and a man wearing a baseball cap opened the door. I was expecting to be greeted by mobs of children but all I saw were men working on an area of the orphanage that looked like it might be turned into a storage area. We pulled in and the first thing that hit me was how tiny this place was. I saw two small buildings and a very small cement "play" area outside. I saw clothes hanging on lines and that was it. I thought to myself, "How is it possible that 100 children live here?" We got out of the vans and straight ahead of us there were about 30 children sitting quietly on stone steps - all staring at us. We immediately went up to them and continually said, "Salem (hello)." They simply smiled. We then pulled out the candy, stickers, cars and balls that were brought. The way that they all sat there and waited patiently amazed me. I could tell that they were dying inside to run up and beg for one. The delight on their faces when they received a gift was awe inspiring. I was immediately transported to my home where my children have toy after toy after toy, most of which they don't even play with. They can so easily ignore toys because they have so many. Once again, I was completely humbled. These children were delighted over a dollar store car!!! This was a TRUE treasure to them. What else did they have? This was something that they could now call their own. It made me think about how these children so desperately want a forever family; to be adopted. If they are fortunate enough to be brought into a family they finally have something that is their own, they have someone who cares for them because they are their child, because they are special, because they are chosen. What a feeling that must be for each child that has the opportunity to go to a forever family. And then... I thought about those who might never be adopted - who would be raised in an orphanage for the rest of their lives. They would never have a mother again, they would never have someone who delighted in them as their child. They would never have a home to call their own, clothes to call their own, toys to call their own. They would forever live at a place known as "No Mother." How could I possibly live with this knowledge and go home and not take action? How could I go home and not advocate for these children. They NEED a home, they need love, they need parents, they need to know that they are special and chosen. My heart was and continues to be completely broken for these precious, deserving and beautiful children.

After handing out gifts, we asked if we could see the babies. As we walked into the first room, we saw 5 cribs all lined up with 2-3 babies per crib. Some were sleeping, some were lying on their backs wide awake. I remember seeing two babies who looked premature and prayed that they would live. They looked so tiny, so helpless. There were babies who had bottles propped up with blankets because there were only 3 women to attend to over 30 babies. We walked around, smiled and touched their sweet faces. Every time I would look into one of those baby's eyes, I would see my son. My son, who spent an entire month of his life lying on his back gazing up a white ceiling knowing that the bottle would come on a blanket most of the time. My heart was beyond heavy. Yet, I was hopeful. I knew that babies are more likely to be adopted, so I knew most of these precious ones would find a home. We continued into three other rooms full of babies. There was one little boy that stuck out to me. He looked to be around 10 months. I remember he was lying on his back and couldn't sit up. He just kept clapping with a smile as big as you can get! It was so adorable, yet I was saddened. Here was this delightful child, yet I could tell he had developmental delays. I prayed he would find a family that could give him the one on one attention that he needed to develop as he should.

After leaving the babies, we went into a small school room. As we walked up to the door, we heard the faint whisperings of a chant. As we neared closer, we could make out the words of welcome that these older children were saying... "Welcome to the orphanage, Enat Elam, Welcome.... Welcome to the orphanage, Enat Elam, Welcome." This was repeated over and over again. It was so beautiful the way in which they chanted this to us. After listening for a while, they stopped and we entered. Again, we passed out our small gifts to children full of delighted smiles and words of thanks. You could see that they would hoard what they had and hide it in their pocket in hopes of getting more. I would have done the same thing!!! Unfortunately, there were not enough cars to go around. I was saddened by this. I knew that my friends would be leaving the next week, so when I got home I made sure to buy enough toy cars, stickers and other squishy toys for every single child to get one. My friend said that when they went the next week, they were mobbed by the children. I'm thinking that they thought, once again, that there wouldn't be enough. She said they had plenty - praise God!

I took a lot of pictures and video of them (which I can't show due to Ethiopian guidelines). I remember when I first took a video of two little boys and showed them, they could not believe what they were seeing. They would call their friends over and laugh, laugh, laugh. All of the children loved having their picture taken and then being shown the image on my camera. I delighted in doing this. There was one little boy who looked to be between 2 and 3 that would cuddle up beside me. He just wanted to be near me. I put my arm around him and sat there willing him to know that he was loved!

While enjoying my time with these children, I was told that it was time to leave. I DID NOT want to go! I wanted to stay and play, I wanted to continue to cuddle with this precious boy. I wanted to go to the babies again and ask if I could hold them. But, it was time to go. As I was getting in the van an older boy came up to me and showed me his car. He was pointing to the wheels. I looked closely and realized the axle of the car had come out. He wanted me to fix it. I tried desperately to fix the car. I could not get it back in its proper place. I felt desperate, but we had no more cars. The plea-filled look on this boys face destroyed me. I had to hand back his broken car knowing that he would be heart-broken. Possibly the one possession that he could call his own was now broken and I could do nothing to help him. As we pulled away I saw him and his friends working to try and fix that cheap, dollar store car.

I sat in the front seat and waves of emotion overtook me. I cried silently... I cried for those children that would never be adopted; I cried for the boy whose car was broken; I cried for the little boy who just wanted to cuddle; I cried for the men and women who worked so hard to take care of these children; I cried for the so many more who would end up at Enat Elam because their parents had dies of AIDS or TB or starvation. I cried for my son. Prayers burst from my heart, my mind, "God, WHY??? Why do these children have to suffer like this? Why are we not doing more to help them? Thank you God for my son, thank you for bringing him to our family and for the gift that you have given us. Thank you for being willing to call us here so that we might see and spread this to others in the hopes that hearts and lives will change into action. God, I pray for each and every one of these children, that they might know you are God and that even though they may never have a family to call their own... that you will always be with them." I cried in silence for a very long time.

Shoes of children at Enat Elam.


Babies sleeping two to a crib at Enat Elam.

Our next stop was at the Mother Teresa home. As I said before, I would stay in the van. While the others toured, I sat, cried, pondered and prayed about what I had just witnessed. As I was sitting there a young man and his friend who were dressed in blue jeans and t-shirts walked right up to me. He was extremely blunt and point-blank asked me, "Why you not visit our home?" Oh my, what was I going to say... "Um, well my husband and I weren't very comfortable with me going, so I'm just sitting out here feeling like an idiot." No, instead I said something to the effect that I'd had a very hard time as we had just visited an orphanage and I didn't think I could take too much more - which was actually very true. He was very understanding. We struck up a conversation. I asked what he did. He told me that he worked as a counselor for those who came and then found out that they indeed were HIV positive. He told me how difficult of a job it was. He also told me that he was a University student and had tried many times to get a Visa to go to school in the US. He was still hopeful. I told him that I would love to be able to see him come to the US to go to school. I was in awe of this young man. Here was this young man going to school, yet he worked diligently with these patients that were dying to try and help them cope with death. As we were talking a patient came out onto the driveway. He was exceptionally thin and looked as though death would soon claim him. He came up to me and wanted food or money. The young man gently guided him back to the area where patients were resting outside. We said our goodbyes and I was so happy that I was able to actually stay in the van and meet this incredible person doing something amazing for the people of his country that needed it the most. Soon everyone else came out and the look of complete devastation was written upon their faces. They said it was the most horrific thing they had ever seen - people laying on the floor dying, children with birth defects that they had never seen the likes of. Yet, they commented, "These are the lucky ones. They have a roof over their heads and food to eat." How profound... I am ok with our decision not to go in. I know that God spoke to each of us in a way that we needed to hear.

We piled back into the vans and there was an ominous silence. It stayed that way until we reached our final shopping destination. Strange to go from such poverty to spending money on things we really didn't need. But, getting out and immersing ourselves in another aspect of Ethiopian culture was somewhat healing. Once again, we all were able to get some amazing treasures for ourselves, friends and family. If I could go back, I would have gotten more. It seems like you have so much, but by the time you get home and give your gifts away, you realize, you didn't actually get that much for yourself. One thing that I tried to do was to buy gifts for Abraham that we will give to him on his "Gotcha Day."

After shopping, we all piled into the van again and headed back to Hannah's Hope. When we arrived, the babies were out and the older children were at school. We spent a little bit of time with the babies, but knew we needed to get back to the hotel to pack because we had to be ready to leave for the airport in a little over an hour. We asked Almaz for a tour of Hannah's Hope as we knew this would be the last time we would be there. As we walked through the front door, we saw a big open room with a beautiful picture of a angel/woman kissing a little baby. We then got to see where all of the babies slept. I was overcome with how much care was put into the decoration of these rooms. They were beautiful and if I was a child, I would feel so welcomed, so at home, so at peace. We then got to see the kitchens where there was a huge pile of injera and the cook who looked delighted to be doing her job for these children. Next, we saw the older childrens' rooms. Yes, there were lots of bunk beds, but they each had a teddy bear or something special that was their own. I had such a sense of peace traveling through Hannah's Hope. I was so grateful to All God's Children and their heart for children. They want to provide a place where children not only feel welcomed, but LOVED. That was exactly what Hannah's Hope did! As we prepared to leave, I took once last glance around at the place my son had called home for four months of his short life. I thanked God once again for the miracle of this whole adoption of Abraham. I turned around and walked down the road from Hannah's Hope one last time in silence.

The painting of the woman/angel kissing her baby at Hannah's Hope.


Laundry, laundry, laundry (and we think we've got it bad :) ).

Laundry drying on the clotheslines.


Lots of bottles to boil for lots of babies!


Hannah's Hope's Cook - love that smile.


Where some of the baby girl's sleep.


Toothbrushes galore!


Older children's bunks. I love the mural's on the walls.


Older girls' sleeping room.


Back end of the schoolhouse.

When we got back to the hotel, all of us busily began packing and readying ourselves to go back home. We knew it would be a LONG journey, but we didn't realize just how long it would be...

We all headed down to the lobby one last time and had a chance to say our goodbyes to the Union staff, and to Almaz. We loaded into the two vans one last time. As Almaz reached in to grab Abraham's hand, he let out a cry. I think he knew someting was changing. It was his way of saying goodbye to this woman who had loved him and still does. When we arrived at the airport, it was our time to say goodbye to Danny and Yohannes. We watched as they walked up to each child and said goodbye. As they were hugging and kissing the older children, Tom and I were flowing in tears. The gentelness and love that these men had for these children was so sincere. It was the sincerity of love that made us cry. To think that these men loved these children this much, yet had to say goodbye over and over again broke our hearts. We hugged them both and walked up to the airport knowing that we would not be back to Ethiopia for a very long time. This was a country that pulled our hearts and forever changed the way we looked at how we live and what we are called to do as Christians, as human beings. We knew we would be back.

As we got into the airport we had to pass through customs once again. We were now back to the "waiting" game, but this time it was different. This time we had our son! Poor little Abraham was having a very hard time. We believe he knew something was changing. He was very fussy and could not be calmed. We tried feeding him, rocking him and then walking/bouncing him. Nothing seemed to work. Finally we were boarded. We were so thankful because we were seated in the middle three seats, but the middle seat was open in between us. We made this a bed for Abraham. We had to sit on the plane for over an hour once again without any sign of movement! We were all MORE than ready! All of a sudden, Tom got up to walk Abraham again and the kid projected vomit all over him. We ran back to the bathroom and along the way, he threw up two more times. Needless to say, this was a pretty good indicator of how our journey home would turn out. We had neglected to pack a spare shirt for Tom, so he had to wear this for another 30+ hours - fun! We got cleaned up, sat down and finally took off. The first ten hours of our flight, Abraham cried/screamed on and off. I can honestly say, I did NOT know how I was going to make it. It truly was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my entire life. Here I was with my new son who I didn't know very well, and who didn't know me very well. There were all of these people around trying to sleep and my son was screaming. We switched walking the aisles of the plane in our attempt to quiet him. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. At one point I went to the back of the plane, sat down in filth, laid Abrahm on my lap while he screamed and I cried. I was at wit's end, and this was just the beginning. After the first ten hours, we finally got him calm down (we think he was so exhausted, he had no other choice) and he slept on and off. There was still plenty of crying, but if we flipped him over on his side and patted his back, we could get him to fall back asleep. No sleep was to be had by mom and dad.

We finally landed in DC and I can honestly say, it had never felt better to be back in the good ole' US of A! We went through lots of waiting again, more customs and more waiting. Abraham seemed to do ok in the front pack. We knew we had a 4 hour layover and then another 5 hour flight to get home. It was feeling closer and closer. We got to the United Airlines gate and realized that we did not have seats together. We were two rows apart and each in a middle seat. Tom went to the counter to ask for a change, and was greeted by an extrememly RUDE attendant who told him it was too late. Ah, back in the US where politeness seems to run very thin - at least in airports! We boarded with the hopes that someone would be willing to switch. As we got on, we asked the flight attendant if she would help us. Her response was a simple "No, you'll have to ask the people next to you. It's a full flight, so there's nothing I can do." Of course, she wore a smile on her face the whole time! We were in shock! Nothing they could do? Tom went up to the man sitting at the window seat on my aisle. He explained our situation... that we were coming home from Ethiopia, that we had our new son, that he was very fussy and tired and that we would love to be able to sit next to each other. Here is the man's response... "Where are you sittting?"
"Two seats up in the middle."
"Oh I just can't, I need my space and I need to be able to stretch out."
At this point, both of us were in complete shock, "Well, it's either stretch or sit next to a screaming baby."
"I'll take the screaming baby."
With determination, Tom went up to the woman next to him who had heard our converstaion. Tom looked at her and began to ask her to switch. Her resopnse was, "No, I just can't do that." We both sat down. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown at this point. I would be sitting in between two people I didn't know with a screaming baby going on no sleep in the last 40+ hours. The man on the other side of Tom sat down and we found out he only spoke Chinese. As the last woman came up to sit next to me, I looked at her and prayed silently. "Excuse me, I have a huge favor to ask you. By no means do you have to say yes, you are more than welcome to say no." I went on to explain our situation. Once again she asked where we were sitting and after I told her she rolled her eyes. Here is her response... "Well, it's not going to be fun, but I don't want you to have to sit apart from your husband." I literally LOST it! I was crying uncontrollably. I grabbed her arm and thanked her numerous times. Everyone's eyes were on me and I couldn't stop crying. Tom came back and thanked her numerous times as well. Yet at the same time we were thinking, "What in the world? Of course, it's not going to be fun. Do you think it's going to be fun for us to have a screaming baby for 5 hours?" We simply could not believe the selfishness in which we encountered. Had people become so selfish as to not offer a seat to a mother with her child? My friend pointed out later that it wasn't too long ago that any man would gladly stand for 5 hours to give up his seat for a woman and her child. We were angry, sad, thankful and exhausted. The man who had first refused tried offering us earplugs 3 hours into the flight after witnessing the crying that we were talking about. We looked at him and said that earplugs wouldn't help. I tried really hard to be kind. At one point he said to me, "Wow, what a really great thing you guys are doing." I wanted to to tell him, "Yeah, and you could do a really great thing and move seats!!!" I smiled and said, "Well, we're the ones who are blessed." It took everyitng in us to forgive that man and everyone else on that plane, but we did. We were sickened by the selfishness that was displyaed on that plane. Is this what we were bringing our son home to?

Our flight finally landed and we walked as fast as we could to our other children. I was feeling extremely sick by this point due to the fact that I'd had no sleep and I was so anxious to hug, hold, kiss Lowa and Whittaker. As we came up the escalator, there they were. Our family and friends had banners up. I immediately started crying again (I really am not a huge crier -but the emotional toll this trip took on me is someting I had never experienced). I saw my other son and daughter and ran to them. To be home as a family of 5 was indescribable. We hugged, held each other and kissed! My babies were all in my arms and I couldn't have been happier. We were so blessed to have both of our moms there along with my best friend, her children and some of of other amazing friends and their children. We felt incredibly loved! We got all of our luggage, packed up and headed home. Tom's mom drove - thankfully! Lowa and Whittaker could not stop talking to us and were getting very frustrated that we kept nodding off. "Mom, Dad - WAKE UP - I want to talk to you." It took every once of strength to keep our eyes open. Once Abraham got into his car seat, he was out. He was such a tired baby and sleep came easily - praise God!

Seeing our precious Lowa and Whittaker for the first time.

Tears of Joy!

Daddy and Whitt getting in some cuddles.


Holding Abraham for the first time - he was quite the novelty to Lowa and Whitt :).

As we sat in our van driving home, Tom and I looked at each other. We were together. We had our two sons, our daughter and each other. God had done an amazing thing in uniting this family from across the world. As we drifted off to sleep, we knew this was not the end of our adventure, but just the beginning...

At home as a family of 5 for the first time!

Abraham "walking" into his home for the very first time!